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Some kind of a joke

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A man walks into a pub and in the corner are three men and a dog playing poker.
The guy says, "bloody hell, he must be a clever dog!"
The barman replies, "Not really, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail."

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

The barman asks, "What did you say that for?"

The man replies, "I heard it in a joke once."

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I just found an old oil painting and an old violin in my attic.

 

I took them to the local auctioneers who said "What you've got here is  a Rembrant and a Stradivarious".

 

"unfortunately Stradivarious was a rubbish painter and Rembrant couldn't make violins for toffee",

 

Tommy Cooper

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Was the auctioneers next door to the pub? :unsure:  :unsure:

No!, the pub was next door to the auctioneers. :D:wink:

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Some kind of a joke X 14

 

  • An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender turns to them, takes one look, and says, "What is this - some kind of joke?"
  • Three men walk into a bar, all bearded and all wearing turbans. The barman says "what is this, some kind of Sikh joke?"
  • A Priest, a Rabbi and a Leprechaun walk into a bar. The Leprechaun looks around and says, "Saints preserve us! I'm in the wrong joke!"
  • A woman walked into an English pub and asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave her one.
  • A woman walked into an American bar and asked the bartender for a double entendre. So he gave it to her.
  • An Irishman walks past a bar.
  • Three men walk into a bar... Ouch! (And variants:)
    • A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
    • Two men walk into a bar... you'd think one of them would have seen it.
    • Two men walk into a bar... the third one ducks.
    • A seal walks into a club.
    • Two men walk into a bar... but the third one is too short and walks right under it.
    • Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative —
    • There was a young man from Peru
    • Whose limericks all stopped at line two

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Algy always wants to be best, don't you Algy?

The best answer to the question "Do you have a packet of helicopter crisps" is

"Yes that will be five pennies please"

The old ones are always the best?

:P

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