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Chris

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About Chris

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  1. Is Quantas a Chinese immitation of Qantas?
  2. This is true!! Took me a while to get the joke too, so no wonder His Holiness stared blankly.......... http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/people/cringe-time-as-dalai-lama-left-puzzled-by-gag-with-everything-20110611-1fy55.html?from=smh_sb Here's the vid:-
  3. A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. 'My darring,' he whispers, 'I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?' he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her. A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually shyly whispers back, 'I want to try something I have hear about from odda girls... Numbaa 69.' More thoughtful silence from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her.... 'You want...... Garlic Chicken wif snow peas?
  4. Gary - and seemingly the only Club investing in English youth.
  5. One word on football transfer fees & 'weekly' (or is that daily) wages for football players: OBSCENE! AdrianR said: (Torres was on about ?125k per week apparently). at Liverpool. I calculate that to be around $260/70 per week in antipodean coin, which is more than I earn in about 3.5 years working 5 days per week. Sickening!
  6. After a long, self imposed exile ( ) and being overjoyed at the return of Kenny Dalglish to manage Liverpool, let me just say two things after this mornings game (antipodean time) game Liverpool -v- Chelsea: 1. Re Torres: Money can buy talent, but not heart. 2. If Liverpool retain Dalglish after seasons end, they WILL challenge for silverwear in 2011/12 season. Last comment: Arguably, the team of the week has to be Newcastle coming back form 4-0 down. Great stuff! Greetings to all at Warrington
  7. Chris

    Doctor doctor

    I sat here thinking, "What the?", then on a 3rd read it dawned on me , and I haven't read the Sports forum page for ages.
  8. A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, It's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything, it was, after all, the Captain's' parrot. Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... and then 2 days ... and then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "OK, I give up. Where's the f**!!#@ ship?"
  9. Thanks Gary - and thanks for the help in reminding me of my login. It's an age thing! Bit of a worry really. Which World Cup? Well, I did mean Football, but I take your point, so I'll stick Rugby Union in there too. Cricket? well .................. suppose so, but DEFINATELY NOT Rugby League. OK?
  10. So, did we all enjoy the 5 tackle-kick (so called) 'World Cup' ? Sore losers here in the antipodes - "we wuz robbed by the Pommy ref" Sad eh! Anyway, great to see the New Zealanders win. In fairness, I hope they drop the "World Cup' tag in future, and have a round-robin between the nations that actually play the game at a reasonable level - you might then get a Tri-Nations tournament, or possibly one, and at a stretch, two more teams. Having said that, at least most of the competing teams this year had some knowledge of the oval ball game (be it League or Union), not like in previous tournaments when various teams from eastern Europe and elsewhere were co-opted (!) to make up numbers. It's a bit like the Americans and their "World Series" baseball, or Australia's "World Series" cricket (although they do, at least get international teams in that Tri-Nations event.) Now - bring on the real WORLD CUP. _________________
  11. Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates". The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's undies. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied, "These are Carols."
  12. Bullseye Eagle! An issue that's been debated here in the past. For English football to escape from the rut it's been in for far too long now, the FA MUST introduce a strict quota of non-English (or perhaps, non-British?) players in the EPL. Maybe (?) the standard of the EPL would suffer in the short term, but given a season or two I have every confidence the competition would flourish and retain it's world ranking. There must be a huge understorey of player talent in the country that is unable to gain the necessary exposure & experience in the EPL because of the number of imported players. Whilst I'd miss seeing the overseas talent week in & week out, I'm convinced that in the long-term, English football would be the winner, and who knows?, maybe a realistic tilt at the World & European Cups.
  13. How very sweet it was. The head of the ARU, John O'Neill, had been encouraging the "Hate England" campaign in the week before the match. Well he's ended up with not just egg on his face, but a ruddy great sloppy omelette. "Swing low, sweet chariot........." A steadily improving side can beat France, but can we beat Argentina or South Africa? Time will tell, but we did knock the Wallabies out, so this expat is a very happy chappy
  14. I'll miss the pouting. The dummy spits. The excuses. Not!
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