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  1. 5 points
  2. 5 points
    Mix these tablets with the cattle feed - problem solved!
  3. 5 points
    Algy - you missed a really important date 1st of September 1999 - launch of the first independent daily online newspaper in the country - www.warrington-worldwide.co.uk 😎
  4. 5 points
    I have a signed van dyke painting at home. I tell you Dick van Dyke is a better actor than painter.🤭 Art is what you make of it. Three black dots arranged in a triangle on a white background and labelled as a polar bear in snow. If done by me would be laughed at by everyone..if it was done by say Picasso or one of the other well known painters, it would be lauded as a masterpiece and fought over by people who have more money than several banks could count. I once heard a very humorous description of the difference between art and lewd paintings. if it has urns it is art, if it has cherubs it is art, if it has a potted plant, on a stand it just scrapes through as art, anything else is just lewd pictures. Years ago spray painting on a wall was classed as vandalism, now it sells for thousands of pounds and is classed as art. I understand what stallard is saying. it is not the art as such he is saying is a hoax but the pretension of the people who will go into raptures over a certain wine that to your average person would be just fizzy vinegar in a fancy bottle. Sniffs glass,takes a sip of wine, swills round mouth, stares meaningly at ceiling and then says,"oh it a chateau naff de pope, 1820 (or twenty five past six at the latest), grown from grapes on the sunny side of the hill in the vineyard situated seven foot eight inches from the friary of st Herbert. stomped by a left handed leprechaun with a squint and bottled in hand blown glass from the desserts of africa with a cork specially imported from the sacred cork trees of the outer Himalayas and harvested using ancient techniques known only to three ancient masters of the temple ding dong in the valley of Avonk a ling. Am i right?" "nah mate fifty pence a bottle at bargain booze"
  5. 4 points
    A reminder of why we have a Brexit problem. And it isn't the people!
  6. 4 points
    Following on from the private prosecution brought against our esteemed Mr Johnson , will it also mean than any politician can be held accountable for any statement made which is not carried out to the letter ? A PM or even a political party could even be held accountable for failing to carry out it's manifesto to the letter. What come across to me is nothing more than mud slinging against a prospective PM from an agent of the Remain side which was no less guilty of romantic fiction during the referendum campaign.
  7. 4 points
    I find your attempts at censorship rather confirms Observer's disquiet at the extension of PC philosophy which this ban, which has yet to affect any ad at all, represents. It is a clear and distressing reduction in our liberties in an area which is beyond what I believe should be the remit of the ASA, namely social engineering. Free speech is being eroded by policies such as this as well as commenters who divert any expression of an opinion by constructing personal attacks on those who express them; in Obs' case usually hoping to start a discussion. He doesn't want you to agree, he wants you to discuss - it is what this place is for.
  8. 4 points
  9. 4 points
    As per usual this post has turned into personal attacks on one and other it is no wonder that this forum is dying on it's feet!.
  10. 4 points
    Naah PJ I'm not offended by the ruling at all....... I find it all rather laughable to be honest that we live in such a bonkers society these days that people feel the 'need' to look at something as daft as some tv adverts and say 'hey this needs to be stopped as it might hurt some little gentle wallflowers feelings'. Most people probably never even gave it a second though until someone with nothing better to do made a big deal of it. Bit like the 1000's of numpties who have been complaining to OFCOM this week about not liking something on Love Island. Durh...well stop blummin' watching it then lol. PS Mr Dizzy can't parallel park our new car..... I think he's still quite offended by me laughing at him though (but hey I can't park it either shhh)
  11. 4 points
    Carries stuff in the back ,doesn't run on a track, That's a lorry.🚛
  12. 4 points
    One man eating lion to the other. "How was the man food today?" "Better than usual because this one was poached!" Bill
  13. 3 points
    What a great idea.. putting the fans first 👍👍👍 ................... PLAYERS and staff from Warrington Wolves are going to be doing their bit for the community amid the coronavirus outbreak. The club say around eight per cent of their fanbase is aged 70 or above – the age group classed as vulnerable to Covid-19, with the Government advising them to remain indoors. As a result, The Wire say they will be making phone calls to all of their elderly members and vulnerable community groups to check on their wellbeing. They will also arrange for safe delivery of essential home products and groceries, plus entertainment packs including old programmes and DVDs.............................. Well done again 👍👍
  14. 3 points
    Wonder if the house of commons bar is open or closed.....🤔
  15. 3 points
    Observer. No I didn't get the last loaf of bread but don't worry, I have a cunning plan.
  16. 3 points
    I don't know if you can see the same adverts as me Bill but no wonder there are funeral adverts on with a "7 women to one man dating" ad....extreme exhaustion to say the least ..
  17. 3 points
    Lets face it folks we are going to die. When we don't know. Where we don't. How we don't know. But it is going to happen so why worry about a remote possibility of catching a particular infection which may or may not kill you. World war, Britain bombed house destroyed people killed and maimed thousands homeless, the reaction "keep calm and carry on". terrorist attacks people killed.reaction "we can handle this no terrorist will scare us" virus infection that will give 90% of the infected flu like symptom for a week.reaction "BUY EVERY TOILET ROLL IN THE SHOP!!". I just don't get the connection. last time i had a dose of flu i was constipated for a week. never used one sheet of toilet paper.
  18. 3 points
    The accents I mainly hear about town are Polish and Russian 😉.
  19. 3 points
    FYI. There has been about a 100 virus cases in the US and 10 deaths. Not a lot out of 330,000,000. However, all of the deaths were very old people with existing severe medical conditions, in fact they were all in a single nursing home in Seattle. As the forum consists of young, virile, fit guys, y'all should be ok.
  20. 3 points
    Seems that all hospitals now have a corona virus pod for people who might be infected. For the warrington pod you have to go INTO the MAIN entrance to find out where the pod is located. "bend over and assume the appropriate kissing position." comes to mind.......🤣
  21. 3 points
    Lidl has said it will remove cartoon characters from its own-brand cereals to help parents buy healthy products. It hopes that the rebranded packaging, to be introduced in the spring, will alleviate the pressure of children's "pester power". When I was young the World was so simple and orderly,I went with my Mum when she did her weekly shop(to help carry the bags) she let me pick my favourite cereal as my treat.I remember looking at Tony the Tiger and all the other brands plus looking at the free gifts on offer which were often in the boxes, Obviously it made a young lad happy as a sandboy picking these cereals.Well it must have if I still remember the warm glow of Saturday morning shopping with Mum sixty years later. And now such small treats are being demonised (yet again) by our interfering do gooders who must have a very sad life if they just sit in some office looking for new""Hidden"" threats in the innocence of buying a box of soddin cornflakes with cute cartoon characters on them !!!!.
  22. 3 points
    Could not agree more. Unless it take a turn for the worse self medicate and keep away from place where there are ill people who could be made worse by catching what you have.
  23. 3 points
    3 boatloads of the Extinction Rebels are due to blockade the crater by Friday at the latest.
  24. 3 points
    A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, he leaned out the window and asked the cowboy: “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?” Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?” The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany … Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.” “That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud. He watches the man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Bud says to the man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?” The man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?” “You’re a Congressman for the U.S. Government”, says Bud. “Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?” “No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don’t know a thing about how working people make a living – or about cows, for that matter. Because this is a herd of sheep! Now give me back my dog.”
  25. 3 points
  26. 3 points
    *Dusts off tin hat, applies fresh coat of polish and hands it over.*....⛑️
  27. 3 points
    Some people have no understanding of the difference between a bit of fun and mindless vandalism. When they grow up they'll have years to reflect on the fact that they can never claim to have been a good person or made the best of their lives. Quite sad really. Bill
  28. 3 points
    I like the old jokes best......It makes it easier for me to know when to laugh......🤣
  29. 3 points
    Seems the UK currently have better "worker's rights" than the EU, and thus not dependent on membership of the EU. So a red herring hatched by Labour as a Remoaner excuse for opposition to Brexit. If employment standards and environmental standards become matters for our domestic Parliament in any case, this issue will be governed by domestic election results.
  30. 3 points
    Seems Mzz Krankie is calling for another (once in a lifetime?) referendum for Scottish Independence. The SNP are so keen on Independence, but have done their upmost to deny Independence from the EU for the UK. Suppose we just have to hope TM won't be involved, given her record on Brexit.
  31. 3 points
    At the Court at Balmoral THE 28th DAY OF AUGUST 2019 PRESENT, THE QUEEN’S MOST EXCELLENT MAJESTY IN COUNCIL It is this day ordered by Her Majesty in Council that the Parliament be prorogued on a day no earlier than Monday the 9th day of September and no later than Thursday the 12th day of September 2019 to Monday the 14th day of October 2019, to be then holden for the despatch of divers urgent and important affairs, and that the Right Honourable the Lord High Chancellor of Great Britain do cause a Commission to be prepared and issued in the usual manner for proroguing the Parliament accordingly. Richard Tilbrook The court challenge is irrelevant because the Queen has already used the Royal Prerogative and that cannot be challenged in her courts. There will be possibly only three and a half days of parliament before prorogation and the Government can set the Order Paper on the first one. There is not enough time to use the same ruse as last time. When Parliament reconvenes there will be a Queens Speech followed by the debate on that. The remoamers will be given just enough time to vote on the deal Boris comes up with or not. It looks like this shambles is coming to a conclusion - or is it?
  32. 3 points
    1st Nov - the sun still rises in the sky - the Germans still want to sell us their cars, the French still want to sell us their wine etc - pragmatism wins.
  33. 3 points
    In 1947, when I was 8 yrs old, I lived with my parents on Gig Lane in Woolston. One day, my hero, my father, came to me and said "Son, I want you to do something, I want you to go to Manchester, find Marks and Spencer's and bring back a shopping bag with the name on it". He gave me a half a crown and that was it . I left the house, walked down Gig Lane to Manchester Road and caught the No 10 bus to Manchester Victoria. Where the conductor told me to get off, cos this was the terminus, I did and asked the first person I saw "Where's Marks and Spencer's?". I completed my mission, returned to Victoria, got on a bus with a No 10 on it and waited till it took me home. In 1950, I went to the Festival of Britain with Richard Fairclough School (how I happened to be there is another story). On a communal day out in London we passed a store and in the window I saw a beautiful Scouts knife. I had been given just enough ' present' money to buy it. The next morning I coerced a friend to go with me after breakfast to find the shop to buy it - we did. Then we had to get back to Gower St in time for the 10:00 o'clock days coach trip. By a quarter to ten I knew we couldn't make it, so I flagged down a London cab and made it back with five minutes to spare - two shillings poorer! The teachers read me the riot act, but later that night, two of them came to my bed and told me how they were impressed and how I had the ability to become the leader of the free world, Sorry, that might be a slight exaggeration, but I was moved out of Richard Fairclough a month later. That friends is the power of parenting. My question is, not literally, but psychologically, why can that story never be repeated in this day and age and who is responsible? l
  34. 3 points
    Partly parenting today and partly the "ooh we must protect the children from evil" brigade. As a kid growing up i was taught that doing wrong hurt, mainly because i got found out by my parents and the resultant "clip round the ear" hurt, result was that i did not do wrong again or at least not that my parents would find out about. (they usually did though). Today that would be classed as child abuse, along with it's many and varied cries of outrage that you could treat a child that way. As a kid growing up we had little in the way of valuable items, my first bike was not so much a hand me down as a Frankenstein, cobbled together from bits salvaged from old bikes scavenged from the tip or canal. an old butchers bike frame made from what appeared to be drainpipes coupled with the latest sturmey archer three speed gearing and lever brakes that only worked well if you stuck your feet on the floor as well. Muggings happened to old grannies on pension day and in other far off exotic places like manchester and liverpool. Kids these days cannot exist without a phone that cost more than a months wages and the latest designer trend fingernails. The answer lies in the trend towards not hurting the kids, naughty steps and time outs instead if a "clip round the ear". also in the fact that kids have no real boundaries as such and know that they will be believed if they say they have been abused/mistreated, even if it is a complete fabrication because dad/mum won't let them have an extra five minutes on candy crush. This trend has been ongoing since the late sixties and slowly gathering momentum and has resulted in a group of parents that were not "severely disciplined" and as a result are less inclined to be harsh on their kids, which in turn makes those kids less inclined as well until discipline, as such, is just given lip service by the parents and literally laughed at by their offspring. oh bugger rambling now so shut up SID. 🤭🤫
  35. 3 points
    The alliance of anti-brexiteers said they had united on a plan to stop Boris. Boris responded by taking away the parliamentary time they needed for their plot. To be clear, the Government has a right to govern whilst the bunch who are promoting sedition do not have a right to do that. That those who are guilty of fomenting sedition have the audacity to call the lawful actions of the state a coup says everything about their concept of truth or lack of it.
  36. 3 points
  37. 3 points
    Note I said attempts so I did not overestimate your effect as you suggest however you consistently try to stop people having opinions that you don't agree with. That is what PC is about: controlling the language in order to control the ideas that can be considered, you do it all of the time.
  38. 3 points
    And finally....... An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender: “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says: “Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things…The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat, the bouncer is a blonde girl, I'm a six-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter and the lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?” The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters: “Well, no! Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five bloody times!"
  39. 3 points
  40. 3 points
    Beautiful evening, it's eight oclock, the sun is going down and the heat is going out of the day - down to 97. Sitting on my patio, surrounded by the night sounds from the woods, with a glass of Black Jack and coke, sweating gently, Trump is President, could the world get any better? Damn, beautiful humming bird just missed my head and spilled half of my damn drink. Ah we'll, crap happens. Keeping my eye on that red wasp, worst bite in history, damn, just missed me and spilled the other half of my drink. Give me a minute to refresh and relax and to break up the fight between my cat and that f******* raccoon - ooh, that's going to mean a trip to the vets tomorrow! All's well again, but I wish I'd have gotten my gun when I mixed my drink, never mind, I'll get that sonabitch rattle snake tomorrow night.
  41. 3 points
    I am deeply offended by the fact that i have not found anything to offend me today.🤔🤭
  42. 3 points
    97 eh, only time it gets that warm here is when Mrs sid has the heating turned up to turbo. I could sit out back on my home-made bench seat with a black grouse in one hand and the brolley in the other,( don't want to water down the drink) and listen to the night-life in the area. the low drone of the planes coming into liverpool, the occasional whine of the ambulance sirens and the dull throb of the police helicopter overhead. darn magpie still chattering away on the roof, neighbours barbie going well, now into the screaming drunks stage, that will need more than a few paracetamol in the morning and must make a mental note to get more slug pellets, considering how slow those buggers are they are really hard to hit with those pellets. oh well pot that for a game of soldiers off inside to thaw out and watch the test card channel.
  43. 3 points
    I like the - "and most of it's people strangely enough" part of your post Asp 😂.
  44. 3 points
    Depending on which source you use the £350M/week figure is near correct. Actually in 2014, which was the latest figure available in 2016, the gross contribution was £361M/week which is what the UK was giving the EU. They then subtract the rebate, public and private sector receipts which give £161M/week nett figure. If the sign on the side of the bus had said "We give the EU £160M per week" do you suppose it would have changed Leave voters minds by an iota? It may possibly have changed the minds of some remain voters instead! All this will come out in the open if the court case goes ahead. The shyster who has opened this can of worms may live to regret it when his own dirty dealings are revealed to the world 🤨.
  45. 3 points
  46. 3 points
    Nothing could keep him quiet. No doubt* once this list is complete he can start naming the victims at London Bridge, Westminster and Manchester Arena. * Lots of doubt
  47. 3 points
    Just seen another police appeal for "have you seen this man." A picture taken from about twenty feet away that looks as though he has just escaped from the original super Mario game. Why is this when NASA came produce a picture from 34 million miles away that lets you count the grains of dust on Mars. Even mobile phones seem to have better resolution than the standard cctv camera. surely they can be made so that at least the person looks human.
  48. 3 points
    But it is just a list of people tragically killed by the nutter in Christchurch shooting. Wonder where are the names of the people killed in UK, France, Germany and elsewhere and when will PJ start on the names of people killed in Sri Lanka?
  49. 3 points
    Suppose if you're a regular bus user rather than a car driver, then the move to the former British Home Stores location makes sense. Bill
  50. 3 points
    Judging by the PM's address tonight, she's trying to get Corbyn on board a deal, no doubt, in order to spread the blame. However, imo she doesn't need to try; Corbyn has clearly deliberately turned this saga into a mess, so he could blame it all on the Tories at a G/Election. But the fact is, every Remoaner MP is responsible for not accepting the referendum decision to LEAVE, and thus culpable.
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